The jumbled thoughts in my head about the education of my children is all-consuming. Morning, noon and night I’m thinking of how they should be educated, what schedule I should keep, what curriculum I should use, or whether I should put no thought into these things whatsoever and cart them off to public school like most all other parents.
And I ask myself…
Am I homeschooling because I have something to prove? Like, I’m too GOOD for public schools? Like, I think *I* could do a better job teaching my children than a trained, qualified, degreed teacher? What gives me the right to think I can do this?
Here are my perceptions of public schools:
- Kids spend all day, 8am to 3pm, in a building packed with other kids, vying for the attention of their teacher. They rarely get one-on-one attention. They are just part of a bigger whole, and shuffled around from here to there, all day long.
- The curriculum is chosen for the children without any input from the parents.
- Little time to play. In fact, play time can be used as a bargaining tool for kids. ”Since you threw dirt in Sally’s hair, you won’t be able to play outside any longer.”
- Field trips (i.e. real life adventures) are few and far between, and sort of a joke. When you’re herding 10s of kids, can it really be educational?
- Girls begin to worry about their clothing or their friends way more than the education they receive. Just taking a stroll through the local mall makes me want to lose my lunch.
- There are extra curricular activities like art, choir, band, and sports – something all children need!
- Teachers are teaching to the test. Without high test scores, the schools don’t get funding, and without funding, there are low-quality teachers, out date textbooks, too-little textbooks, special programs and salaries are kept low. But…aren’t these pretty true even without the test scores?
- There is little freedom to just BE. The kids are shuffled here and there all day long, which translates as lack of imaginative playtime! Don’t kids need to play?
- If your child doesn’t fall within the bell curve, there’s a problem – for the child, parents, teachers and everyone involved! One-on-one teaching to the child does not exist; therefore, no child is unique.
- There’s too. much. homework! Children are already at school for hours on end, only to be sent home with loads and loads of homework! Kids aren’t able to just. be. kids. *sigh*
I haven’t sent my kids to a public school, I haven’t taught in a public school, and I haven’t stepped foot in one in over 7 years. Here’s what experience I do have:
- I was a kid once myself. Granted, it was 20 years ago now that I graduated high school, but the trauma is still etched in my memory. (And the good things, I’ll admit that, too.)
- 7 years ago I led middle-school counseling sessions with at-risk kids as part of the “Safe and Drug Free Schools” funding. (See here that the funding has since been cut. *shock*.)
- I’ve had in my office as a therapist: teachers, administrators, counselors, police officers, parents, and kids all who were, at the time of their visit, connected to the schools and were able to tell me hair-raising horror stories that made my stomach churn at the thought of my kids being part of that. One teacher even told me she would give anything to be able to not send her own child to the school at which she was teaching (life circumstances prevented that from happening at the time).
- One teacher said that her kindergarten kids became so overcome with anxiety at having to take a computerized test, and not knowing which was the “right” answer, so as the kid went into hysterics, the teacher just pushed the button for the kids, so they could both move on from the arduous task.
- School counselors have confided that they don’t get to be counselors at all! And, there sure is a need from what I hear and witness. The counselors are test-givers, apparently.
- Frazzled parents confide in me on a weekly basis about how stressed out and tired their kids are from all the HOMEWORK!
- Kids come to my office in droves (it seems) with stories of how they are being bullied, and they want to commit suicide as a result. They are tired. They are stressed. They can’t be themselves. They can’t be smart…
- Oh yes, they can’t be smart. Kids tell me being smart “isn’t cool.” WHAT? It’s not cool to have As, apparently. So I’m told.
But those are just my experiences. And yes, I live in a therapy bubble. I get that.
There are cons to homeschooling, too:
- Kids are all up in my grill all. day. long. Except for when I’ve shuffled them to this class or that class or this event or that program, they are with ME because I am Mom and Teacher to them.
- I’m shuffling kids here and there all. day. long. Except for when we aren’t shuffling, which is when they are home and all up in my grill. And the “all up in my grill” time often means we have “seat time” which is our learning time.
- I have to create the day for my children, it’s not created for them (except for when they are playing freely and in abundance, which they do, and OFTEN). This is only a negative because I have to be in teacher mode all. the. time. Constantly thinking and planning their days. I don’t have the luxury of sending them off to a school where someone else does that for them.
- There is no group play, unless I create it. Group and cooperative play is important – kids need it! They need to learn to share, wait their turn, wait in line, and work through conflict. This only happens when they are around other people. At a public school, I imagine these skills are learned like, all day long! At home, they aren’t. These situations have to be “created” – they aren’t naturally produced. (i.e. we have playdates!)
- It’s expensive. You wouldn’t think of homeschooling as expensive, but my experience now that I’ve been doing it is – it is! My kids are involved in 4 educational programs that I’ve “created” for them each week, all which require money. This doesn’t include curriculum I’ve purchased, art supplies, school room supplies, computers, and play date paraphernalia - all geared, in some form or fashion, toward learning.
Okay, I’ve purged.
And here’s the thing. Maybe I’m wrong about public schools. I could be so, so incredibly wrong, wrong, wrong, and wrong, that I’m missing out on a WORLD of greatness there! And I’m dying – just DYING for someone to tell me I am! Please, please, please tell me I have it all wrong – that public schools aren’t that way. I want to hear all the wonderful things there is to know about public education. And then I could do this…
- Save money.
- Save time.
- Have sanity.
But I would miss this, I suppose…
- Time with my kids. Their trips to the Museum of Nature and Science, the Zoo, the Arboretum, the MALL – all during the day, while all the other kids are being shuffled like sardines down crowded halls.
- Time with my kids. Full. On. Discussions about the anything and everything, because that discussion may hit at 10:33am, and I’m there to be part of it. Like, Which state is the BIGGEST and which one has the prettiest flower? And, How many minerals does THIS rock have, Mommy? Let’s crack it open and see! And, Read that story about Rosa Parks one more time, and tell me what a protest is and WHY would someone bring a brown man to the United States in CHAINS? And, Why is this the hottest part of the day? And what day is the longest day of the year again?
- Time with my kids. At the iMax – in the middle of the day, when we’re the only ones in the theater.
- Time with my kids. At lunch! And I’m not talking cafeteria food, people.
- Time with my kids. At the butterfly exhibit! Because, that’s just what we wanted to do today, spur of the moment.
- Time with my kids. Going on a hike. Looking for minerals. Collecting rocks. And watching the maple leaves change colors.
- Time with my kids. In our PJs. Watching Mr. Penguins Poppers. BECAUSE. WE. CAN.
So, maybe, in purging and processing, I’ve realized I really don’t want to be convinced. That even if public schools are so great and wonderful and all the cool kids are doing it, that I don’t want to do it because I can’t part with my kids. That I want to be with them doing all the wonderful things I get to do with them, experiencing life through their eyes, and hearing the wonderment in their voice when they learn something new. It is perfect. And grand. And lovely. I could NOT imagine another day than the crazy-assed, chaotic, all up in my grill, busy days we have.
But then I wonder….is that what THEY want?
*sigh* I think I’ll call my shrink now…
Signed,
Your Indecisive Shrink
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